Other women don’t tell you when you break down crying in front of your child—

this time, because he refused to poop in the potty and did it in his pull-up and you are sobbing while changing him—he will say, Stop crying, Mama, I’m right here. And you have never heard him say this, nor have you ever said those words to him in English. And his tenderness just makes [...]

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Other women don’t tell you your child will catch the moon

and throw it to your next-door neighbor. Here, catch, he’ll say, and when your neighbor passes it back, your son will open his arms wide, I got it. Then, he will tell you how he wants to hug the sky. He will tell you he can swim up there, spread his arms wide in embrace [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you come back

exhausted from layovers and daylong conferences and being around strangers who don’t run to hugs, your son will be somewhat apathetic. He will smile and say Mama and kiss you when you ask for it. He will adore the plane you purchased for him at the airport gift shop, which makes “real” plane sounds that [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you choose to leave (and you will)

you won’t go very far. And you will see your son everywhere. When you go away for two nights in January, not for a conference or obligation or commitment, but wholly for yourself, to celebrate a friend’s birthday, those two days pass the way of his childhood, in a flash and eternity at once. Before [...]

Other women don’t tell you what you will learn when you ask your child about love

He will tell you he loves himself. When he first begins talking, he will press his palms into his chest and say his name as emphatically as he can, despite being unable to pronounce the soft middle “L” yet, or the final hard consonant “N.” Who do you love? You will ask him. And he [...]

Other women don’t tell you that when your child is sick (the languages of need and want)

A small part of you will enjoy it. Not his sore throat, because you would take all of his pain for yourself if you could. Not his restless turning in bed, his sweaty body tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows and sheets, and you can’t seem to find the right amount of layers [...]

Other women don’t tell you it only gets harder

Because who needs that kind of honesty when you are already struggling? So instead, they tell you it gets easier. Instead, they say, you’ll find a routine and get used to things, and of course, this too, is true. You do get used to things, because a human being can get used to anything. And [...]

Other women don’t tell you when it really starts (or how terrible twos hit like clockwork)

November 6th Because any day can feel like the beginning of a new phase in your child’s development. Because every day is, to some extent. Phases. It’s really all about phases. Motherhood and life. But that day, when the terrible two’s really hit, you couldn’t have predicted it or really prepared. And you feel completely [...]

Other women don’t tell you what the lack of sleep really comes from

Yes, he didn’t sleep through the night for most of his first year. And the first time he did, it was a fluke on the anniversary of being outside in the world as long as he’d slept inside of you. You celebrated the next morning with brunch and by midnight, he was burning up and [...]