Other women don’t tell you what you will learn when you ask your child about love

He will tell you he loves himself. When he first begins talking, he will press his palms into his chest and say his name as emphatically as he can, despite being unable to pronounce the soft middle “L” yet, or the final hard consonant “N.” Who do you love? You will ask him. And he [...]

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Other women don’t tell you that when your child is sick (the languages of need and want)

A small part of you will enjoy it. Not his sore throat, because you would take all of his pain for yourself if you could. Not his restless turning in bed, his sweaty body tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows and sheets, and you can’t seem to find the right amount of layers [...]

Other women don’t tell you it only gets harder

Because who needs that kind of honesty when you are already struggling? So instead, they tell you it gets easier. Instead, they say, you’ll find a routine and get used to things, and of course, this too, is true. You do get used to things, because a human being can get used to anything. And [...]

Other women don’t tell you when it really starts (or how terrible twos hit like clockwork)

November 6th Because any day can feel like the beginning of a new phase in your child’s development. Because every day is, to some extent. Phases. It’s really all about phases. Motherhood and life. But that day, when the terrible two’s really hit, you couldn’t have predicted it or really prepared. And you feel completely [...]

Other women don’t tell you what the lack of sleep really comes from

Yes, he didn’t sleep through the night for most of his first year. And the first time he did, it was a fluke on the anniversary of being outside in the world as long as he’d slept inside of you. You celebrated the next morning with brunch and by midnight, he was burning up and [...]

Other women don’t tell you that you forget how to be alone (first day of school moments)

Not that you were any good at it before or even knew how to be alone really. But now, it’s a feeling you don’t understand. You don’t know what to do with your hands. Your body and mind feel foreign to you as though you are alone but with a stranger at the same time. [...]

Other women don’t tell you how to teach love in the midst of such hate

You will recall that moment more often than you wish. The time he was the size of a banana inside you, a crescent moon waxing bigger with each passing day. You stood beyond the gates of Auschwitz, where buses come to bring people from all over Poland and take them back to their large, homogenous, [...]

Other women don’t tell you laughter can hurt more than tears.

From the first time you hear it, there is nothing that can compare to that sound. It’s like hearing his heartbeat for the first time all over again. It’s like falling in love. It’s like every single amazing first and so much better than all of them. That first laugh, from deep within his belly, [...]

Other women don’t tell you leaving doesn’t get easier.

There are good days. And bad days. And worse days. And better days. And there are days that blend in together and go on forever or end before you have the chance to realize they even begun. And every new day is a reset button for you as a mother. Yesterday is no indication of [...]

Other women don’t tell you about the day he doesn’t cry.

How he will say “Da” in response to the teacher asking him if he wants to “eat eat.” How he will sit down in his regular chair at the small table with the other children. How he will look at them and tuck his napkin into his shirt as a makeshift bib, just the way [...]