Other women don’t tell you how you’ll forget the fireflies

because you are never out past sunset anymore. Because summer nights are mostly spent on the couch, in the air conditioning, zoned out to the latest Netflix show helping you recover from the day. You recall how your sister-in-law told you, “Days are long, but the years fly,” and as your son gets older, the [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you break down crying in front of your child—

this time, because he refused to poop in the potty and did it in his pull-up and you are sobbing while changing him—he will say, Stop crying, Mama, I’m right here. And you have never heard him say this, nor have you ever said those words to him in English. And his tenderness just makes [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you come back

exhausted from layovers and daylong conferences and being around strangers who don’t run to hugs, your son will be somewhat apathetic. He will smile and say Mama and kiss you when you ask for it. He will adore the plane you purchased for him at the airport gift shop, which makes “real” plane sounds that [...]

Other women don’t tell you that when your child is sick (the languages of need and want)

A small part of you will enjoy it. Not his sore throat, because you would take all of his pain for yourself if you could. Not his restless turning in bed, his sweaty body tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows and sheets, and you can’t seem to find the right amount of layers [...]

Other women don’t tell you it only gets harder

Because who needs that kind of honesty when you are already struggling? So instead, they tell you it gets easier. Instead, they say, you’ll find a routine and get used to things, and of course, this too, is true. You do get used to things, because a human being can get used to anything. And [...]

Other women don’t tell you that you forget how to be alone (first day of school moments)

Not that you were any good at it before or even knew how to be alone really. But now, it’s a feeling you don’t understand. You don’t know what to do with your hands. Your body and mind feel foreign to you as though you are alone but with a stranger at the same time. [...]

Other women don’t tell you laughter can hurt more than tears.

From the first time you hear it, there is nothing that can compare to that sound. It’s like hearing his heartbeat for the first time all over again. It’s like falling in love. It’s like every single amazing first and so much better than all of them. That first laugh, from deep within his belly, [...]

Other women don’t tell you leaving doesn’t get easier.

There are good days. And bad days. And worse days. And better days. And there are days that blend in together and go on forever or end before you have the chance to realize they even begun. And every new day is a reset button for you as a mother. Yesterday is no indication of [...]

Other women don’t tell you it only takes a second.

You turn. You look away. You take off your jacket. You bend down to pick up the latest thing your child has dropped or thrown. You answer the phone, knowing this is a mistake. You take a sip of your coffee. You blink. That’s all it takes. Just a blink. A fraction of any one [...]