Other women don’t tell you the toughest apart about being away from your kids will be coming home.

Not at first. At first, your 4-year-old son will jump into your arms and hold you so tight you’ll feel how much he’s been longing for you. I missed you so much, you’ll tell him as you put him to bed, and he will say it back, and kiss you, hard, and you will love [...]

Other women don’t tell Sunday morning can last for days—

the best days and the worst in the span of mere hours. From 6am when your 4-year-old son wakes up—not counting your 4-month-old daughter’s nighttime wakings—to 2pm when you manage to get him down for a nap and sit down to nurse the baby, you will feel days have come and gone. Amazing days and [...]

Other women don’t tell you, “Thank you for the heartbeat” (a post about Febrile Seizers)

is what your son will say to the OB assistant after she lets him hear his little brother or sister’s heart beat on the Fetal Doppler, his three-year-old hands, on fire from the fever, patting his own belly to the whooshing rhythm. He had woken-up that morning burning, climbing into your bed like a little [...]

Other women don’t tell you first days also mean last.

The first time your son inhales a gulp of air, the first time he takes your breast and sucks hard, the first time he squeezes his tiny palm around some part of you and leaves depressions of his razor-nails inside your flesh, will also mean the last time your body holds him completely, in water [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you come back

exhausted from layovers and daylong conferences and being around strangers who don’t run to hugs, your son will be somewhat apathetic. He will smile and say Mama and kiss you when you ask for it. He will adore the plane you purchased for him at the airport gift shop, which makes “real” plane sounds that [...]

Other women don’t tell you when you choose to leave (and you will)

you won’t go very far. And you will see your son everywhere. When you go away for two nights in January, not for a conference or obligation or commitment, but wholly for yourself, to celebrate a friend’s birthday, those two days pass the way of his childhood, in a flash and eternity at once. Before [...]

Other women don’t tell you that when your child is sick (the languages of need and want)

A small part of you will enjoy it. Not his sore throat, because you would take all of his pain for yourself if you could. Not his restless turning in bed, his sweaty body tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows and sheets, and you can’t seem to find the right amount of layers [...]

Other women don’t tell you it only gets harder

Because who needs that kind of honesty when you are already struggling? So instead, they tell you it gets easier. Instead, they say, you’ll find a routine and get used to things, and of course, this too, is true. You do get used to things, because a human being can get used to anything. And [...]

Other women don’t tell you when it really starts (or how terrible twos hit like clockwork)

November 6th Because any day can feel like the beginning of a new phase in your child’s development. Because every day is, to some extent. Phases. It’s really all about phases. Motherhood and life. But that day, when the terrible two’s really hit, you couldn’t have predicted it or really prepared. And you feel completely [...]

Other women don’t tell you what the lack of sleep really comes from

Yes, he didn’t sleep through the night for most of his first year. And the first time he did, it was a fluke on the anniversary of being outside in the world as long as he’d slept inside of you. You celebrated the next morning with brunch and by midnight, he was burning up and [...]